Confusion

I really don’t feel like writing today. Well, maybe it’s that I really don’t feel like thinking deeply, and to think deeply is necessary to write something that is worth writing. I’m making myself do this however, although why is unclear.

I feel like there is a swirling confusion somewhere within me, somewhere beyond my thinking mind; yes, deeper than that. There is much confusion of course in the world, which, since this is where I live, probably affects me even though I may not be aware of the connections. (But I did learn recently that everything is connected…) Take the weather for instance. January in Ohio should be cold and quite possibly snowy. It feels like spring today and I’ve yet to see a snowflake! It’s raining and warm and some of my little bulbs buried in the ground are tired of waiting for the freeze and have started to sprout. The winter birds seem strangely absent lately as well. I don’t know where the cardinals and blue jays could have gone, they usually frequent my yard all year long. This is all weird.

I’ve been doing a bit of research on what to do to improve my general health and immune system. I even had a hair analysis done, which shows specifically what minerals are out of balance in my cells. The lab that does this also then outlines which supplements to take to help with the problems, and makes dietary recommendations. I got the results back today and was feeling rather overwhelmed as I read all this stuff, realizing that I may not even be able to afford to take all the supplements that are suggested. This stuff is all well and good, but even this can’t be the WHOLE solution, as is suggested. More confusion.

Now and then I’ll catch up on the latest in the Episcopal world over at Father Jakes. Talk about confusion! I’m not talking about Fr. Jake’s writing, he’s quite clear. The stuff that’s happening is confusing and I think that some people are getting totally confused about who God is and what Jesus wants his followers to act like. I can’t read too much of this stuff; admittedly, it gets to me.

Well, I could go on about all the confusion in the world at large, but I think I’ll stop here before I become confused about confusion. I remind my self (listen now self!) that whatever it is I read or see or think, it’s only part of the total reality. There are lots of connections that I don’t know about, and I must trust in The Great Connector to hold things together and to work things out.