Prayer – Leaving My Own Words Behind

WE CAN TRUST GOD to form the words in us when we pray. We can trust God to give us the deep desires of the heart that are consistent with the divine will. Without language we can allow the Spirit to pray in us. “The Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words” (Rom. 8:26). God knows our needs. In prayer our hearts join with every desire in God’s heart for us and for our world. In Centering Prayer this happens in silence without words. In other times of prayer we put words to our needs as the Spirit makes us aware of them.
- J. David MuyskensForty Days to a Closer Walk with God
From page 62 of Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God by J. David Muyskens. Copyright © 2006 by J. David Muyskens. Published by Upper Room Books. http://www.upperroom.org/daily/?p=144

Yesterday my church was open part of the afternoon to anyone wanting a quiet time of prayer. I had looked forward to this time all week, and I was not disappointed. I am pretty comfortable with praying, whether it be silently or aloud, and I actually enjoy it so I went ready to get down to business. After a while though I just felt like this wasn’t working! Finally I was able to leave my words behind and let the Holy Spirit pray through me in the silence; it was wonderful!

Lenten Journey: The Story Continues

Many days have gone by, yet I have little recollection of where I’ve been other than that this desert looks much the some from one day to the next. I began to sense early on that there are others, perhaps many others, travelling along the paths of this sandy wilderness yet I have rarely seen anyone.

One bright early morning I thought I heard a snatch of song upon the wind. It’s so hard to tell which way to go in this place, but putting one foot before the other I headed toward what I hoped would be a fellow traveller. The song grew louder as I spied in the distance a gathering of people under the shade of a large canopy. “Glory to the God on High!”, sang the happy throng. With great joy in my heart I joined the group, lending voice to the song. We all stayed there a while that day swapping stories of triumph and hardship while resting in the shade. We feasted on fellowship and the simple fare that we found spread on tables in a tent near the canopy. As day’s end approached the crowd dispersed, each going his or her own way hoping to meet again. I wondered if we ever would.

Today I see no one and sing alone to the God of the Wilderness.

I worship you O God,

of glaring sun and swirling sand,

I glorify your name O Mighty One.

You are fire;

Burn in me,

Do your work,

Set me free.

A Prayer of St. Patrick

Christ as a light

Illumine and guide me!

Christ as a shield overshadow and cover me!

Christ be under me! Christ be over me!

Christ be beside me,

On left hand and right!

                                           Christ be before me, behind me, about me!

                                         Christ, this day, be within and without me!

                                          St. Patrick

Wasting Time

Be careful then how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of the time, because the days are evil. So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery; but be filled with the Spirit, as you sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, singing and making melody to the Lord in your hearts, giving thanks to God the Father at all times and for everything in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 4:15-20 NRSV

As part of my own Lenten journey I knew I was to give up playing games on the computer. I say I do it to ‘unwind’, but have had a nagging awareness that often I’m really just wasting time. I have found, of course, that there are other ways to unwind that are more profitable to me and I should probably just forgo the computer games on a permanent basis. (It is addicting….you can’t just play the game once or twice!) Time is precious; I realize that now more than ever having gone through the experience of thinking mine was running out. I do not want to be foolish, but rather want to make the most of the time given me.

I looked up the word debauchery (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=debauchery) wondering if I really knew what the word meant. I found one definition especially meaningful: (Archaic.) seduction from duty, allegiance, or virtue. There are many activities that we may engage in, including the playing of computer games, that could hardly be called “sinful” in and of themselves. It is when these activities begin to seduce us away from the things that we would be better off doing that the activities become problematic.

Prayer: Lord, help me to make wise choices in how I spend my time; that I may live to bring glory to Your Name. Amen.

Fragile: A Prayer

Lord,

I have a deep awareness of my fragility.

I am but fragile flesh,

made of dust,

held together by your grace.

Honor my fragility,

I pray,

for thus you have made me.

I am dependent upon you,

my Creator King,

for each breath I take;

for each step I make.

In all my days and ways

may I acknowledge you,

trusting always in your mercy and love

to hold my fragile being together.

Amen.

Muck Walking

Another sunny day here in Ohio. I took a walk with hubby today at a nearby nature preserve. It was nice being out but the walking was not under the best conditions. The path turned out to be very wet. When you’re walking through muck, as anyone reading this probably knows, you can’t afford to look at the scenery. We had to keep our eyes on our feet and constantly search for the least water-logged place to place the next step. We had to go off the path a foot or so into the brush where there was more vegetation to step on. It was an effort. Sometimes I would step gingerly into a puddle when there was no other option. When we got to the end of the trail I realized that I had missed whatever scenery or wildlife there may have been to see. I was too busy getting through the muck. Oh well.

Walking the trail today is a good picture of life. Sometimes the path we have to walk is full of muck. There’s no way to get around it, you just have to go through it. And don’t step too slowly and gingerly through those puddles or the water will have time to seep into your shoes! The walk becomes an exercise of intense determination. You take little notice of whatever is around you. You just concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. No use worrying about the mud you’re getting on your pants legs either as there is simply no avoiding it.

Life a little mucky lately? Keep on trudging through; eventually the muck will dry up, or you’ll get to higher ground. Of course there’s always the off chance that you’ll slip and end up sitting in the muck…but we won’t go there!

Restless Walking

The hope of spring is in the air; nearly all the snow melted save the blackened heaps by the roadside. Restless, I went walking at the park, a path along the Olentangy River. As I sucked in the brisk air, I thanked God that my lungs are well and that I can breathe freely. It still seems a sort of miracle to me, that I can breathe, after the experience of severe illness.

There was so much trash along the path I walked. Litter is a sad testimony of the state of our society. Few seem to give a care for the environment or others that occupy it. I began to feel helpless anger well up within me and decided that the next time I go walking I shall have to bring gloves and a trash bag. This path was not a peaceful place to walk, with traffic quite nearby loud enough to drown out the gentler sounds of water or birdsong that I had hoped to hear. I returned to my car a bit disappointed and as restless as I was when I started.

I remain restless and wonder what it is that I am supposed to do, if anything. There can be many reasons for restlessness. Perhaps it is merely a part of this wilderness walk of the Lenten season.

Some Things CAN Go Either Way

I’ve been reading Bright Evening Star: Mystery of the Incarnation by Madeleine L’Engle. (Copyright 1997, Crosswicks Inc.) She refers to reading from Eugene Peterson’s The Message.

In his version of John’s Gospel I was startled to read of Jesus’ appearance to the
disciples after the Resurrection. He blesses them with his peace. Then he tells
them that when they forgive people’s sins they are gone forever. And then,
instead of the familiar, “Whosoever sins you retain on earth, they are retained
in heaven,” which has always bothered me, Eugene Peterson’s version says,
“If you don’t forgive the sins, what will you do with them?” (p.41)

L’Engle goes on to relate that she had the opportunity to ask Eugene Peterson who he justified this particular translation of this passage. He replied, “The Greek can go either way. I chose that way.” (p.41)

That passage has always bothered me too, so I was relieved to read this. This speaks to me about other passages that may ‘bother me’ as well. I do not read Greek or Hebrew so I must trust those who do to have made an accurate translation of the original scripture texts. BUT, there are obviously words and phrases that can “go either way”. I think it’s safe to assume that those passages that seem to make no sense, or seem not to fit in with the overall theme of the text, may come across differently in the translation than the original author intended. Another mystery….live with God is full with them.

Words

Words in mind,

Yet unwritten,

Float to conscienceness

Unbidden.

Shall I write these words?

I think,

I ponder and wonder,

I hold them,

Try them,

Weigh them,

Then

When the time is right,

If

The time is ever right,

I write.

Stress

It’s nearly 2 am and I’m writing this because I can’t sleep; I can’t sleep because I spent a good part of the day sleeping. I’ve contracted a sinus thing and have lost my voice. I have fought fear today because this is how my long bout with illness began in the beginning of October past, but I am winning the battle at this point. I am, however, asking the Lord why I seem to suffer this voice loss so easily. There must be some connection somewhere to something…

I don’t bother questioning why I have fallen victim to this sinus/throat thing. I have little kids around me all day, many of whom have been coughing of late. There is one boy in particular that refuses to cover his mouth and is forever spewing germs into the environment. I’d like to kick him out of my classroom, but of course that is impossible. (OK. I forgive you Brock.) No one, least of all my principal, understands that I am still far from a state of “health”. So I have pushed it and kept going to the point of being too tired for my own good.

Since I could not work today, I called my massage therapist for an appointment. As I lay on the table while she worked her magic on my shoulder muscles, I contemplated the fact that I do not seem to deal well with stress. I am far less emotional now than I used to be, but the effects of stress on my body probably go deeper than I realize. I have felt like I’m doing pretty well lately in the coping department, but the rock-like muscles in my shoulders and neck tell me differently. I suddenly realized that God alone is capable of providing me with effective stress coping strategies. Anything I’ve thought to try has had little effect. I also realized that I may never have actually prayed for help in this. Well, now I have and I am eagerly awaiting guidance in coping with everyday and any day stress. Stress weakens my immune system, so if I’m ever going to be healthy I need to learn some coping skills. It is possible to learn. It is possible for me to be healthy. With God all things are possible, and in faith I choose to believe.