It Takes FAITH to Live

I have an unexpected day off tomorrow because a student in the school where I teach was diagnosed with MRSA virus (Methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus). This is the infection that has been making the news lately because it’s resistant to most antibiotics.  The school must be thoroughly cleaned before classes resume on Friday.

Due to HIPPA laws we were not told who the student is or what class he or she is in. That bothers me. I’m fairly certain it’s no one in my room as no students have been absent the past few days. Even still, it bothers me that if it was someone in my room, I would not have the knowledge to know whose desk interior and materials should be cleaned. (As far as I know only the hard outer surfaces around the building will be cleaned.) I understand a right to privacy, but in cases like this it doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense.

Earlier in the week a mumps epidemic was declared in the school. Epidemic of one person. Apparantly epidemic status is given to even one outbreak of a disease that the majority of the population has been immunized against. I had the disease as a child so personally I’ve nothing to worry about, but WHY and HOW did an immunized child contract this disease?What is going on? I have a lot of questions and those “in the know” don’t really have a lot of answers.

The fact is, this kind of thing happens every day, and worse. I have of course been aware of that on one level. But now the dangers “out there” are right here, and that’s unsettling. Bad things, bizzare things even,  can and do happen. Everywhere.

The situation leaves us with choices. We can worry. We can become paranoid of every cough or scrape or bump. We can try at all costs to protect ourselves. We can have faith and trust God to take care of us. There is a balance. We should, I believe, use the wisdom and common sense God has gifted us with to take care of ourselves, but not to the point of paranoia. Fear is useless and obviously not what God wants of us. Why else would the words “do not fear” and “be not afraid” appear so many times in scripture? So the balance is to do what we are able to keep ourselves safe and healthy, and trust God to take care of the rest. 

Read for a Good Laugh

I don’t know about anyone else out there but I need a good laugh now and then. I sure got one when I read this story. Check it out!

Reading Lesson

I was listening to a little girl read the other day and observed an interesting behavior. Three times as she read a short story, she read a sentence then went back to go over and over a particular word. In all three cases she had read the entire sentence correctly the first time, and in one instance as she tried different ways to say the word she ultimately changed her original decision and then read the word wrong. At least once I had to tell her to just move on; she seemed stuck in that pattern of repeating different ways to read the word without making a definite decision. On the assessment form I made the notation, “lacks confidence.”

Afterward I began to think of all the times I’ve been so afraid of “doing it wrong” that I’ve second guessed myself. I’ve even, at times, refrained from making any decision at all feeling that this would be better than possibly making the wrong one. Quite often at times like these I knew the “right” course, I just didn’t trust my ability to make a good decision or to discern God’s will at the moment. I had heard the voice of the spirit inside me yet doubted.

I thank God that I feel the freedom now to make a mistake and still be assured of God’s total love and acceptance. I thank God that I have realized that many times there is more than one “right” way, and also that what is right for me may not be right for someone else. I am not saying that there are NO absolutes, of course, but merely that there are probably fewer that I once thought. I’ve come to believe that God is a lot more open minded that I often have been.

Acceptance

I’m really bummed. This morning is the first church service with our new rector, and I’m here at home with laryngitis. So much for singing in the choir for the next few weeks too. Once I get over this I usually can’t sing for 3 weeks. I’m drinking tea and taking vitamins and gargling, and praying, that I will have enough voice by tomorrow to go to work.

I was SO hoping that this wouldn’t happen this fall. It’s happened every fall for 10 years now. I believed this year would be different because I’m healthier and my immune system is stronger than it has been in some years. I am grateful though. I’ve only had a mild cold and I’m not getting bronchitis. Yes, I am grateful!

So there’s nothing to do but accept the situation and make the best of it. Fighting it will only add to my stress and thus prolong the ailment. I’ll do another load of laundry to hang on my line. I’ll sleep some more. I’ll drink tea and sit in the sun and spend time with God in my own way. I’ll pray for my church and our new rector and for my own healing and have faith.

Clothesline Comfort

I did a load of laundry today and instead of throwing it in the dryer I hung it out on a clothesline in my backyard. It felt really good to do that.

When we lived in the country I had a large clothesline. It was actually shaped like a square with a double line strung on all four sides. This was my own innovative idea to save space in the yard and steps for me. I preferred to use the clothesline rather than the dryer. It was a small way to save money, dryers are power guzzlers, and I always thought the clothes smelled better. I enjoyed hanging out the wet clothes and shaking out the stiffness as I took them dry from the line. Hanging out the clothes provided quiet spaces in the day when I could listen to the birds sing, pray, or just enjoy the sunshine. I have many happy clothesline memories, some involving young children playing at my feet as I worked. When the kids got older and I went to work full time outside the home I hung out the clothes less, but I always said that if I ever got too busy to do it at all then I was too busy.

We’ve lived in town now for over two years. I’ve been asking hubby to put up a line for me all that time. What made him finally do it was the towels. No matter how I washed them, the towels just never smelled good. Hubby complained about it more than once and one day finally heard my answer to the dilemma. “If I had a clothesline I could hang them out in the sun,” I explained. “The sunlight kills the lingering bacteria that makes towels smell funny. It’s the only thing I know of that will work for sure.” So now I have a nice retractable line that handles one average size load of wash quite well, and the towels smell good again.  I’ll be using my line until it’s could enough to freeze wet clothes. I figure if I hang out even one load a week, the energy saved will be worth the effort.

Hanging the laundry out to dry, feeling the warm sunshine, hearing the birds sing, watching the squirrel run along the top of the fence. Simple pleasures really are the best.

Death is Everywhere

It seems like death is everywhere I look these days. A co-workers father dead of a heart attack. A friend of a friend, someone whom I have met, died in a tragic fire. The mother of a friend died suddenly of a heart attack, after having survived several smaller ones. A young police officer from my city died when his car went off the road into a lake. This list goes on, not to mention what I read in the paper and see on the news.  I can only pray that this death theme does not hit any closer to home, so to speak. It will one day, of course; I just hope and pray it’s not in the near future.

I much less afraid of dying myself than I am of living through the death of someone I love. I saw in the paper a few weeks back an obituary for a young woman and right below it was one for this same woman’s mother. They died of different causes but less than a day apart. The daughter went first; I must wonder if the mother didn’t die of a broken heart.

Prayer~~~~~God, comfort those who weep. Comfort those for whom it seems there is no comfort. Help us, all of your creation, to make some sense of death and of life. Help us to live our lives well. Give us the grace to die well. Give us strength to say good-bye when we must……And God, just so you know, I really can’t imagine what you were thinking when you set things up this way. It’s just too, too sad.  I don’t understand, but yet I am yours.  Amen.

Think, Write, Feel…It’s All Connected

I think perhaps the reason that I don’t write sometimes goes far deeper than the fact that I’m busy, even though that may be true. To write I must think deeply, and that takes energy that I may not feel I have at the moment. But beyond that, to write well I must allow myself to feel and experience my own emotions, and that is not always comfortable. So I protect myself, and find things that don’t really matter to fill those moments when I know I’m being tugged at by the Holy Spirit to allow myself to feel things I’d rather ignore. I’m too busy to think. I’m too busy to write. I’m too busy to be me. Yes, I make myself too busy to be me! Like it or not, that mixed bag of emotions, half formed thoughts, fears shoved under the carpet, and hopes I’ve yet to dare to hope are all a part of me. To deny it is to deny myself, yet that is what I choose to do.

Prayer~~~~~ Lord, grant to me grace enough to face myself and all that that means. Help me to love myself enough to take the time to listen to all the parts clammoring for attention. Help me to trust you enough to be….me.    AMEN