Everyday Blessing

God bless you and keep you,

Always in Light.

God guard you and guide you,

Whatever your fight.

God with you and love you,

In depth or in height.

God for you,

 Restore you,

By day and by night.

Embrace the Mystery

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
-Harry Emerson Fosdick

I think that often we, I’m speaking as humans in general, feel the need to figure things out. We want to have an explanation of why things are the way they are, and how things happened, and what will happen next and who made these things happen, and what we can do about it. If it is beyond our mental capacity to figure something out we take some “expert’s” word for it and may never give it another thought. We feel in control if we have the answers.

It’s been a risky business, but in the last couple of years I’ve dared to question the “right” answers I’ve held on to in matters of faith and discovered that I don’t know half of what I thought I knew.  I’ve had to admit that even the things of which I feel quite sure, may not in reality be quite the way I think they are. Further, I’ve concluded that for many questions there really are no definitive answers, and that it really does not matter.  I trust that God loves not only me, but all of creation, enough to lead us through life and get us where we need to be by the time we’re done.

Living a life of faith in God means trusting enough to give up control and embrace the Mystery. I find that the universe if full of possibilities now that I no longer feel the need to have all the answers.  I am not saying that there are no absolutes in faith; of course there must be. I am finding though, that there are far fewer absolutes that I once thought and that my faith becomes stronger the more I realize this. There is such freedom in embracing the mystery! Alleluia!

Prayer on Psalm 23

O Lord, you are my shepherd and my Divine King. Because YOU ARE, I will not suffer in want. Help me to trust you to meet my needs.

You, O Lord, provide for me time and space for rest.  Let me willingly and eagerly go to lie in your green pastures! Let me rest by the peaceful still waters and allow you to restore my soul.  In your presence I am made whole.

O Lord, lead me in right paths and for your name’s sake grant me grace to go only where you lead, ever forsaking my own ways.

Sometimes I walk through deep and dark valleys, yet you are with me and evil cannot touch me.  You protect me, even with your Holy rod and staff to correct and guide.  Lord, forever keep me from harm.

You feed me, My Lord, at your table until I am more than satisfied … even in the presence of those who wish me evil. You honor me, anointing my head with oil, filling me with your Spirit. I am in awe.

May your goodness and mercy follow me all of my days. Lord, let me dwell in your Kingdom, now and forever.

AMEN

Epiphany: the Light Has Come

The baby was born, the three Wise Men have arrived, and the world is filled with Light. 

Today, Jan. 6, is Epiphany, the day in the church year when we remember those three gift bearers who followed the star to find the Christ child. They followed a light to find the Light of the World! Something I read recently pointed out that the Wise Men were astrologers who looked to the heavens for signs and guidance. They were not worshipers of the One True God. Yet God, whose Wisdom is far greater than that of any wise man, chose these “pagans” to be some of the first people who worshiped the King of Kings. God even spoke to them in a dream, telling them not to return to tell King Herod where to find the baby whose star they followed. (See Matthew 2:1-12)  How can God speak to a pagan, and why would God want to anyway? What does the fact that God did choose to do this say to us today? How should this fact affect how we look at people who don’t worship or believe as we Christians do?

The Light has come and in Him there is no darkness. As followers of the Christ, we are called to be light bearers, carrying His light into the world. The wise men probably did not understand that it was the King of Kings, God’s own son, that they travelled to visit. They did not name Him as the Son of God, yet they worshiped Him, and perhaps they too became filled with Light, and took that Light with them back to the land from which they came. How could one be in the presence of God and not be changed?

The Light has come and in Him there is no darkness. As followers of the Christ, we are called to live Light filled lives. Do we even know what that means? Do we really want to know? The Wise Men travelled for a long time, through the desert, up hills and down, with no map and no previous experience in the place to which they travelled. All they had was a light to follow, and in the end they found Him whom they sought. How far are we willing to go into uncharted territory seeking God, and how long are we willing to take? We have a Light to follow, but do we allow the Light to lead us?

The baby was born, the three wise men have arrived, and now let us pray that we will have the wisdom and determination to follow the Light and to allow the Light to fill us and transform us.

Longing for Jesus

I just want to sit at your feet, lean my head on your knee, and be.

Jesus, sometimes lately I wonder if I know you at all. You are so much more than I know, so much more than I have experienced, so much more than I have the capacity to understand. Advent is near; that time of year when we await your coming. That time of year when we remember the God babe that came to earth. I shall pray that you come again to my heart, and break through the crust that seems to have formed about it. You came, you’ll come again, but right now I just need you to come to me. Or maybe what I need is that I’ll be able to feel that you are here.

Jesus, I do not deserve such, but let me sit at your feet, lean my head on your knee, and be. AMEN

Reading Lesson

I was listening to a little girl read the other day and observed an interesting behavior. Three times as she read a short story, she read a sentence then went back to go over and over a particular word. In all three cases she had read the entire sentence correctly the first time, and in one instance as she tried different ways to say the word she ultimately changed her original decision and then read the word wrong. At least once I had to tell her to just move on; she seemed stuck in that pattern of repeating different ways to read the word without making a definite decision. On the assessment form I made the notation, “lacks confidence.”

Afterward I began to think of all the times I’ve been so afraid of “doing it wrong” that I’ve second guessed myself. I’ve even, at times, refrained from making any decision at all feeling that this would be better than possibly making the wrong one. Quite often at times like these I knew the “right” course, I just didn’t trust my ability to make a good decision or to discern God’s will at the moment. I had heard the voice of the spirit inside me yet doubted.

I thank God that I feel the freedom now to make a mistake and still be assured of God’s total love and acceptance. I thank God that I have realized that many times there is more than one “right” way, and also that what is right for me may not be right for someone else. I am not saying that there are NO absolutes, of course, but merely that there are probably fewer that I once thought. I’ve come to believe that God is a lot more open minded that I often have been.

God: The Master Weaver

OUR PART is to pray;
God’s part is to weave everything
into the tapestry
of the divine will.

From page 95 of Talking in the Dark: Praying When Life Doesn’t Make Sense by Steve Harper. Copyright © 2007 by the author. Published by Upper Room Books.

Professional weavers of old often had assistants who performed the task of setting up the loom with the warp threads. After that, the master weaver wove the tapestry. Only he or she would have the skill to use the warp and weft threads together to form the intricate pattern envisioned for the tapestry.

When we pray we are as the assistant, setting things up. Only God can actually weave the tapestry. Yet how often do we try to tell the Master Weaver how to weave? We need to remember that we simply do not have the skill, nor the vision, to do this. Our headstrong attempts would lead to disaster should the Weaver allow us to have our way.

**Prayer **        Lord, help me to pray and then completely release those prayers to you. Only you can see the whole picture. Only you can use those concerns I lift to you in prayer to weave the divine tapestry of my own life and the lives of the others for whom I pray. I worship you, Master Weaver. I desire to trust you more.  Amen.

Anticipation

My daughter is coming home tomorrow. I’ve only seen her once, briefly, all summer. She’s a Kent State Univ. student and worked at a camp in PA for the summer. Anyway, she’ll be home tomorrow evening and we have her here for two whole days. I’m excited. I look forward so much to seeing her and hearing about the things that have been happening in her life. I want to know how she is doing, and what God is doing in her life. I enjoy her company and cherish each moment I get to spend with her. The occasional phone calls have been nice and much appreciated, but to have her sit next to me on the sofa and chat, to put my arms around her….. that’s what I’ve been looking forward to since the day she left.

My own anticipation has me thinking about my relationship with God. Could it be that God looks forward to spending time with me, his child, as much as I look forward to being with my dear daughter? Daughter is a wonderful young woman but she is not perfect. Her imperfections do not make me love or appreciate her any less though, and equally so my flaws do not make God love or appreciate me any less. I miss daughter when she is away, and the missing becomes painful at times even, especially when she seems too busy to communicate with me. Does God miss me when I don’t take the time to pray and seek out his/her presence? Is that possible? Perhaps God does not feel emotions in the sense that we do, but it’s still something to ponder. Does God anticipate time with me? How much do I look forward to time with God?

Looking for HER

I am a woman.

This may be a rather obvious statement, but it is a fact that I find myself thinking more about lately than I have before. I’m comfortable in my womanhood, at least I’ve never regretted the fact or wished I was something different. I believe that women should have equal rights in both church and state and I admire those who fought for it, and are still fighting for it, but I have never been much of an activist myself. For much of my life I found feminists with outspoken views to be irritating, at best.

I had certainly never considered that the fact that I am a woman has any bearing whatsoever upon my spirituality. At times I have had difficulty relating to a “male” God, but I have understood for a long time that God is really neither male nor female even if the church at large promotes the male image. Inclusive language, when it comes to referring to God, is interesting but I’ve seldom felt the need to use such language myself. So it came as a surprise to me when on Tuesday evening of Holy Week I found myself praying to “Mother” rather than to “Father”; I mean that I actually felt compelled to do this. Then the next day I had the experience of a uniquely female “God presence” visiting me. (This is described in Lenten Journey: Part 5.) This experience was so moving that I could not help but cry, even if I didn’t understand it.

I still don’t understand, but I do know now that this was a sort of turning point for me. I can’t quite explain it but something within me has shifted and I find myself constantly looking for this “Mother God” whom I have not previously known. I find myself wondering how the fact that I am a woman affects, or can affect, my own spirituality. I vacillate between being excited and horrified; excited that there is a whole other aspect or “person” of God that I am beginning to discover and horrified that somehow I have been mislead and am making a terrible mistake in pursuing this.

I read The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd at the suggestion of Gail. It’s an excellent book; I could scarcely put it down once I’d started it. The author relates her own journey into the Sacred Feminine, and it’s quite a fascinating journey. The reading has raised many more questions in my mind. I think that Kidd has taken this all a bit too far, but this is a valuable book and one that I’ll be re-reading and pondering for a long time. Doing a web-search on “Sacred Feminine” has proven to be less fruitful (there’s a lot of pretty flaky stuff out there), but I did find a blog that I’ve enjoyed reading of late. I don’t even know what I agree or disagree with of what I read; I only know that I am intrigued and that something of all this resonates deep within me as being very possibly right.

God’s Will

God’s will is not a puzzle to be solved but a mystery to be lived into. It is a mystery whose contours emerge as we journey on.
- Wendy M. Wright,The Rising
quoted in Upper Room Daily Reflections

In the past, I have often looked at the will of God as not only a puzzle, but one that I must figure out to avoid disastrous consequences. This thinking led to much frustration, anxiety, and doubt. To realize that God’s will is a mystery, which means that I may not be able to figure it out when I want to, and that I can live into it is freeing. I can have faith that as long as I continue to take one step after another in this Journey God has me walking, I am on the way to living as God wills.